Before and After Copy-editing
Before
The Enchanted Garden
There was a hidden garden deep in the forest, a place where flowers bloomed in colors never seen before. It was said that only those with a pure heart could find it, though many have tried and failed.
Lillian had always heard the stories, but she never believe them until the day she stumble upon a narrow path covered in ivy. As she walked deeper, the air was filled with the scent of jasmine and something else—something she couldn’t quiet place.
Ahead of her, a silver fountain stood in the center of the clearing, water trickling like laughter. The flowers around it shimmered in the fading light, their petals shifting colors as if painted by the sunset itself. Lillian reach out to touch one, but the moment her fingers brushed the petals, a voice whispered through the air.
"Why have you come?"
She turn quickly, her heart pounding. No one was there. The wind picked up, carrying the scent of rain and lilacs. Suddenly, the garden didn’t feel as welcoming anymore.
Lillian took a step back, but the vines that had once laid harmlessly along the path, now coiled around her ankles. The whisper returned, this time closer.
"You were not invited."
———————
After
The Enchanted Garden
There was a hidden garden deep in the forest, a place where flowers bloomed in colors never seen before. It was said that only those with pure hearts could find it, though many had tried and failed.
Lillian had always heard the stories, but she never believed them until the day she stumbled upon a narrow path covered in ivy. As she walked deeper, the air filled with the scent of jasmine and something else—something she couldn’t quite place.
Ahead of her, a silver fountain stood in the center of the clearing, water trickling like laughter. The flowers around it shimmered in the fading light, their petals shifting colors as if painted by the sunset itself. Lillian reached out to touch one, but the moment her fingers brushed the petals, a voice whispered through the air.
"Why have you come?"
She turned quickly, her heart pounding. No one was there. The wind picked up, carrying the scent of rain and lilacs. Suddenly, the garden didn’t feel as welcoming anymore.
Lillian took a step back, but the vines that had once lain harmlessly along the path now coiled around her ankles. The whisper returned, this time closer.
"You were not invited."
Changes and Reasoning:
"only those with a pure heart" → "only those with pure hearts"
Adjusted for subject-verb agreement; "those" (plural) should match with "hearts" rather than "a heart."
"many have tried and failed" → "many had tried and failed"
Changed to past perfect ("had tried") to indicate an action completed before another past action.
"she never believe them" → "she never believed them"
Corrected verb tense to past ("believed") to match the narrative tense.
"until the day she stumble upon" → "until the day she stumbled upon"
Corrected verb tense ("stumble" → "stumbled") to maintain past tense consistency.
"the air was filled" → "the air filled"
Simplified for a more natural and active construction.
"something she couldn’t quiet place" → "something she couldn’t quite place"
Corrected "quiet" (incorrect word) to "quite" (correct meaning).
"Lillian reach out to touch" → "Lillian reached out to touch"
Changed "reach" to "reached" for past tense consistency.
"She turn quickly" → "She turned quickly"
Corrected verb tense ("turn" → "turned").
"vines that had once laid" → "vines that had once lain"
"Lain" is the correct past participle of "lie" (to rest or be positioned). "Laid" is incorrect because it requires a direct object.
"now coiled around her ankles."
Added "now" to clarify the transition between past and present states.
